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Hello, and welcome to...... duh-duh-duh..... the Audio Adrenaline Mafia.... What is it you ask? Well, I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you! proceed with caution!

Mission 1

Subject: Mark Stuart
Role: Lead Vocalist
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Your first subject... Mark.... your mission.... capture him..... take his cowboy hat.... and..... burn it once and for all!

Mission 2

Subject: Will McGinniss
Role: Bassist
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This mission's subject.... Will.... the wacky, scatterbrained bassist..... the object of this mission.... to find him.... and make him stop changing his hair style after every album release.....

Mission 3

Subject: Bob Herdman
Role: guitarist and lyricist
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The subject of this mission.... Bob, the outgoing father of the group...... your mission..... to find him..... and tell him one last time.... he can not sing.....

Mission 35GA4HL

Subject: Tyler Burkum
Role: Lead guitarist
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You subject... Tyler, the baby of the group..... your mission...... to find him..... and tell him that he's only half as cool as he thinks he is......

Mission 00ASH00
Star Date.... what the heck is a star date?

Subject: Ben Cissell
Role: Drummer
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This is the last subject..... your mission comes in two parts.... to find him.... and make him fall madly in love with Ashley.

Those are your missions.... should you choose to accept them.... now go! leave! before they find us! don't trust anyone..... remember, the world shows no mercy! and bring me back a yogurt smoothie, would ya?